Brokenness

This month, I was reminded of the utter brokenness of our humanity, realizing that any discomfort, hurt, and confusion in our lives stems from this source. Amidst it all I wondered, why would a wise God choose to allow a cluster of broken, messy human beings to mingle together on earth, seemingly creating only further mess, and how would this accomplish His purposes in any way?

I doubted my understanding of God’s redemption and began questioning His grace and wisdom. I began to pray for Him to give me answers, to speak directly to my heart, and to reveal Himself to be a personal God.

Where is there purpose in our brokenness? The single aspect I’d like to focus on for this month is that brokenness drives us to desperation and dependence on the Father and places us on our faces before His throne. It reminds us of who we were and who we are in light of Christ and what He’s done for us.

Suddenly, I had come into contact with a God so up-close, a God that knew me so well, that it made me extremely uncomfortable. I was humbled by the very brokenness that I saw within myself and I knew that I needed relief.

In his book titled The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning focuses on the subject of brokenness within a Christian’s life. Think on this;

"Relief comes from rigorous honesty with ourselves. It is interesting that whenever the evangelists Mark, Luke, or John mention the apostles, they call the author of the first gospel either Levi or Matthew. But in his own Gospel, he always refers to himself as 'Matthew the publican', never wanting to forget who he was and always wanting to remember how low Jesus stooped to pick him up."

Gaining perspective and humility may not sound much like relief in the way that we’d have it, and it doesn’t seem to offer us any answer as to why God would do things and allow things in this world the way that He has. Perhaps it is because this is not the type of relief we seek, but rather the kind God would seek for our souls and for our character. I believe our brokenness can drive us to the truth that I’ve been clinging to in James 1:2-6;

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Ironically enough, the matured Christian is truly the opposite of the picture that may have been impressed upon our minds. In fact, according to Christian counselor, Dr. Larry Crabb, if you “…ask a mature person when he last sinned…he will smile the smile of a broken but healing person.” The mature Christian, growing in Christ, is rather someone constantly being brought into awareness of their sin, knowing they are always in the process of healing and working against the nature of their flesh in choosing to allow God near enough to transform them from the inside out. I’d say that’s letting Him pretty close.

As I stated before, acknowledging the brokenness of those around me and within myself has driven me to seek answers, and most of them are not simple. But I think that, for a time, it’s enough to sit with our brokenness, appreciating it for the way that it drives us back to the heart of our God as we seek His wisdom and matures us as we understand our need for His grace.