Humility

“Finally, a moment of peace”, I think to myself. 

I’m in my hometown of Spring in the larger Houston area for some of the last, fleeting moments of my summer vacation, sitting at my favorite local coffee-shop. Yet, in the stillness, my mind has begun to recall regret and frustration. In the last few hours I have succeeded once more in being one of the more critical voices in my family—a fault I must fight against daily. I reflect on often the spiritual journey I’ve taken since my years at home, but still more surprising to me is how consistently I still struggle with the same sins I thought I had escaped. With my immediate family I slip easily into my “old” ways of relating to my mother, my sister, father….and it’s here that I need the reminder of the same grace by which I was brought into a new family.

As Christians, the entire doctrine of our salvation centers around the realization of our true position to Christ and surrendering the pride that once separated us from God. In this way, C.S. Lewis even considered pride the greatest of all sins. James 4:6 says,

 “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

‘God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.’”

When I’m back at school, it seems easier to believe that I’ve escaped a critical spirit, but when I’m with those closest to me I all too quickly let humility fly out the door. It’s here that I’m reminded most of my own depravity.

As I rest, review my reflections, and finish up my cold coffee, I wonder if this is the purpose of these tests of my impatience. Maybe, in a similar way that the Jews had the law, I come home to remember the impossible standards I hold for everyone else and that I’m usually the first to trip. Perhaps this moment has become a reminder of Romans 5:20, which says, “The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more…”

Why should my trespass increase, even as a growing, young Christian? Might I constantly have to re-realize my need of God’s grace and the necessity of a humble spirit?

Oh how I need such grace, and how glad I am that I was brought to it. 

God, bring me to my knees again and again if this is your desire. May I never, ever escape my humbling journey while I’m on this earth. Thank you for grace, thank you for a new family in your Kingdom and my old one, in which Grace ransomed His life for me.