How I Proved Jesus

How is faith “proved”? Amidst trying circumstances, how do Christians prove the worth and truth of their faith in their own lives?

In comparison to larger issues, my most recent questions of faith seem petty, but still left legitimate doubts in my mind for a time. Having finally found stability and rest from relationship struggles of various kinds in the past year, I found myself in my walk with the Lord at a new place. I felt at limbo, a year from graduation, perpetually single, and living with two close friends who would both be married and moved out within the year.

As much as I would’ve liked to believe this would never have any effect on me emotionally, I could not remain in denial for long and refuse to address the facts. Already thinking one year ahead of myself, several thoughts disrupted my spirit. One, the fact that I’m not one hundred percent sure of my plans directly after graduation, that my best friend would not be living in the same building as me for the first time in four years, and that I had drawn for myself this idea that my existence would become lonely, boring, and fairly colorless after I became a graduate. I was afraid of this loneliness, even before seeing any evidence of it, and I began to deeply question the hand of God in my personal life.

If you think I was worrying just a bit, you would be totally right! You would also be right in pointing out that the Bible commands us not to worry (Philippians 4:6, as we’ve become very conscientious of this verse in my small group).

But I couldn’t get past the gloom I had predicted for my future. Silly, right? I had seen girls worrying about being single and lonely before and knew that this is not the way God desires for his children to live. But I was now tempted and still yet to overcome.

Ironically, God comforted me by leaving me alone, besides the fact of His presence, for a week in my apartment.

Roommates had each left for different summer escapades, and I had plenty of work to get done in the meantime. The only problem was that little of it was going get sorted out unless I sorted through the heart-issues first—my challenge with trusting the Lord in this “limbo” I had found myself in. For just a moment, I desperately needed to remember the Lord’s touch upon my life and His powerful, and yet very personal, love for me.

After an evening of escaping to the gym from the solace of my empty living room, my Daddy caught me and brought me to a few key scriptures to remind me of His providence in my life. Hebrews 4:15-16 reminded me that Christ is my great high priest, who miraculously became flesh to sympathize with every one of my weaknesses. Romans 8:28-29 revealed to me that each of these weaknesses are intended, then, for our good and His glory. I was surprised by James 4:6-20, which called me to have gut-wrenching honesty and brokenness before the Lord, calling it humility. Meanwhile, Psalm 40 proved to me that God constantly acknowledges my brokenness and all of my questioning of His mercy, yet still requires me to place my trust in Him. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 concluded my devotional, stating that His grace is completely sufficient for any and every “limbo” we may find ourselves in during this lifetime. His glory is literally perfected in our imperfections because we need Him so.

The rest of my week rolled by more quickly than I would have expected, and ironically enough I was rarely alone after that evening, much less lonesome. But I had been comforted and had learned that the Lord required my honesty before Him if I ever expected to experience His comfort, even in the smallest of my complaints and moments of uneasiness. By becoming willing to come to Him with all of my impatient wondering, my spirit was graciously reminded of the fact of His presence and sovereignty over my life—no matter where I go, what company I keep, or my relationship status. I had “proved” Him (or rather, He proved Himself), as the hymn goes,

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er,
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
  O for grace to trust Him more.